When I was a teenager my mom was a teacher and she hated to have to be outside in the cold a few days a week for playground watch during the New York winters. The teachers would have to rotate days to watch the kids during recess. She told me that what kept her going was the famous quote, “This too shall pass.” It was her way to know she could endure things and that the condition wouldn’t be permanent. Reading quotes is an excellent way to change your mindset, gain inspiration and change your state of mind. You can pick up my Famous Quotes book for a short period of time at .99 HERE (and you don’t need a kindle to read it).
Turn to quotes when you feel discouraged, alone or may be heading into a state of craving. They REALLY can pull you out of the tricks that your mind plays on you! Reading famous quotations helps you break certain mental habits. One liners can change your mood completely. For instance, many people find that the quote, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” by Nietzsche very helpful. When you read a quote not only are you connected to the depth of an author, but also the whole community of people that have received support from the saying. In addition, many times we can’t read a whole book at work or when we feel stressed. But everyone can take a few minutes to read a few quotes and reflect upon them. (more…)
Stopping drugs or alcohol is something that many feel ashamed about. Many people can feel that they lack the will or that they can stop for a few days. It is a horrible feeling when we regress again. Whether it’s with an addiction or slipping into a habit, the sense of discouragement can be quite heavy. Our spirit sinks when we feel like failures.
I was honored to be able to interview 5 former addicts, some with their own books on recovery at amazon.com . Each goes into their darkest moments as well as what helped them to turn the corner for good. You can read what Todd Zalkins, Amy Lee Coy, Dennis Marcellino, Patty Holloran and Parker Lanier all found helpful for their own recoveries as well as what were their obstacles along the way. Everyone’s journey is different, but one sentence can be enough to create motivation inside of you and a leap into a new intent. The book is on kindle for .99 at the moment so you can pick it up here –Five Journeys Of Addiction Recovery .
Not everyone interviewed found the 12 steps or AA and NA approaches helpful to them. You’ll see various methods and find what resonates for yourself. Remember that change is possible. Do not feel that you are doomed to repeating a cycle. We are not stuck in who we are but are capable of much more. When you feel that things can’t get better it is always good to read something inspiring, even if it’s a famous quote, in order to change your state of mind. Don’t buy into the negative states.
Because it’s the summer, people tend to have picnics, barbecues and add drinking some beers into the mix. This can actually be adding more alcohol than you think into your system. Because it’s easy to shoot the breeze for a few hours with family and friends, you may be unconsciously picking up more beer than you think. Try to limit yourself to 1-2 and if you have a problem or history of drinking you should focus on sodas and water instead. Do not tempt yourself.
It isn’t the beer that relaxes you, but it’s your state of mind. You can get the state of mind by humor, affirmations, visualization, thinking about your good qualities and many other ways. Don’t rely on alcohol for that because it is actually a depressant. It does not pick you up. An alcoholic personality will find ways to dismiss and justify the habits. It is best to instead just repeat good habits and not think you can control your intake.
When you show others you can be fun, relax and be funny without beer, you are also giving them a message about good living. This is contagious and people will appreciate it. Instead of behaving in a way that can lead to an alcoholic intervention , you will be cultivating a lifestyle that enables you to be social without addiction. This is sorely needed in our world today. Remember that you and others are also driving after a gathering and this can have deadly consequences.
One thing I hear a lot in therapy is that people come in saying , “I am not sure how to quit smoking pot because it helps me not react so much to things.” I have seen clients say that without it they can’t sleep and they’d be more aggravated in situations. One thing this points to is that it is our attitudes that make us react so much. When you think about it, how can your reaction to your co-worker be much less irritating after smoking a little weed? It shows us that we blow things up in our minds and re-live them over and over again.
Rather than seeing smoking marijuana as the antidote to dealing with daily situations, why not go deeper into the mind to find ways to release the negativity? This does take more self-inquiry and work, but it is a tool you’ll always have and you won’t have the negative effects of marijuana .
In a meditation class I recently attended the speaker asked us to look at someone who annoys us. Think about someone who’s voice you dislike, who makes you just feel uncomfortable all the time . Do they have friends? Are they married? Obviously , they can’t irritate everyone and must have some good qualities. Do they want to be happy , just as you do? Is there a way you can approach them differently that can break the negative pattern you may have historically?
One effect of smoking pot is memory issues. This is important to think about. Another is that some people say they can’t get motivated. Visualize your future and what you want it to be. Write down the reasons you like to smoke pot or get high on weed and see the times that trigger it. Is it situations with your parents, family or boss? What gives rise to the urge to smoke marijuana? By working with this, the cravings will change. If your teenager has a pot problem you can also look into 12 Step Programs for Teens .
One’s family background , difficult situations at work or school and life challenges can all lead to self-esteem that is damaged. When there is low self-esteem, we find ways to numb the pain. Drug Addiction is one of these paths. When someone has a low opinion of himself, he can try to remedy this by a self-forgetfulness. The low self-image may have begun when one’s parents criticized him or compared him to a sibling over and over again. It also could have been re-enforced (or even started) when kids in elementary school ignored him or laughed about him.
If one feels badly about oneself, trying to fit in or please others is a common route. This can involve in doing drugs as this can be seen as the norm for some cliques at school. No one likes to feel like an outsider and with low self esteem, one measures himself by other people’s opinions. Being on the outside creates a deep sense of aloneness and alienation. There are a lot of books written about how we long to belong and not be separate from others. What is interesting however is that if the popular person of the clique decides later that being religious is what is cool, then others follow that lead. It is hard to live by one’s own standards and make choices without others approval. This is even more difficult for someone with low self esteem who was belittled as a child.
If fitting in with others doesn’t work, then drug addiction or substance abuse may be turned to in order to block things out about the rejection. This can also be seen as a solution after a divorce, relationship break up, fall out with a friend or in response to an ongoing family drama. Getting insight into the low self esteem is what is key to overcoming the makeshift solutions used to deal with it. Read more on
Alcoholic Behavior Patterns and Vicoden Addiction
I was really surprised to read about Paula Abdul admitting to prior drug addiction problems. In the past she has denied this. However, recently she mentioned that she was in rehab in November and really went through a lot during the withdrawal phase at La Costa Resort in California. She should be proud of this accomplishment. (more…)
Kelly Osbourne has been in rehab 3 times and this time she feels it really made a difference. She wants to move beyond painkillers now and get more into her career and relationship. When did this problem start? She thought it was when she started taking liquid vicoden as an early teen for a health issue. Pain killer addiction is so common today and because people take it for a physical problem and see the internal relief, it can be quite addictive.
By recognizing that there may be a drug and alcohol addiction problem this can be the best step. I see people regularly in counseling who talk about how the pain killer pills would really seem to make the day easier physically. Later this will get generalized and applied to work stress, school anxiety, relationship problems and life issues. But inner tools are not learned this way that can be used to dissipate difficult and challenging times.
This is where breathing, exercise, yoga and techniquest to change your assumptions can be very useful. Then you can be free within life situations that are thrown at you.
I admit it. I’m a child of the sixties and when I was growing up, the interest in drugs like pot, lsd and mushrooms was about higher consciousness and opening doors of thinking , not getting zoned out, wasted or trashed. It may have been the crowd I was in, but it was an intellectual crowd in high school and everyone was talking about the Vietnam War, Maharaji and Herman Hesse. There was an atmosphere of questioning and not wanting to end up in the suburbs like our families.
So, what does that mean in terms of drug experimentation? I did try pot and mushrooms and found my consciousness was expanded. BUT, I didn’t do these regularly and loved reading books by Herman Hesse and Alan Watts. In college, Be Here Now by Ram Dass was popular. He was a Harvard Professor who did lsd over 100 times and found his teacher in India. Ultimately, he became much more involved in eastern practices and didn’t see drugs as a “path” you could practice. Still, I think there needs to be some reflections on the fact that certain drugs do open doors to questioning the normal routines, usual sense of ego and remove blockages. This is only temporary and of course, not true of all drugs. Some people want to close their perception through drugs rather than open it. Drug Addiction Information is important to study as people can ruin their lives, but if there is a genuine search for truth that drove you to drugs, then don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, but use this to go deeper into prayer, the church, temple, meditation or a spiritual path that clicks for you.
There is some sense of having to give in when you have an urge to drink or do drugs- but you don’t. We have the power to pause, evaluate and then decide. Our past helps us to see mistakes we’ve made and this can qualify every experience that we encounter now. You can learn from the past. Did having an anger outburst help you before? If you’ve ever had tantrums, you see that it isn’t fruitful.
The same is true about coping with challenges by using drugs or alcohol. Does it really stop the situation? Does it really resolve things? How much does it now complicate things because people are angry with you, you are late, you disappointed someone etc etc. Try to keep all of this in mind when you think that a drink or smoking can resolve something. It is sooo temporary. It won’t last long. You may even not be able to relax with the booze or the pot etc because it is still haunting you.
Facing things really is easier. When you face something you can be empowered. You make decisions and you get rid of that nagging sense you are running. An effective drug addiction solution makes you feel good rather than sneaky or about to be caught. You’ll feel actually like you are doing something good for yourself (like eating a meal rather than just getting fried foods).
Keeping a journal is a great way to gain insight into what situations and people may be what creates a sense of stress and triggers the need to get high or change one’s state through using drugs.
It is like you get your buttons pushed and then have to do something to not feel it. This doesn’t have to be the case. There are effective coping strategies to deal with irritating people, challenging situations and tough days. But first it helps to write about things so you see what grips you.
You can write about the situation and try to see if falls into certain categories like jealousy, rejection, disappointment, unresolved family issues, career stress etc. Once you start identifying things they get better because they aren’t as big as they look when you break them down.
If it is jealousy, now you know have named it and it can be addressed by therapy, speaking with friends and self-reflection. When it is a disappointment, go a little further. Ask yourself what did you expect from people and the situations. Maybe the world won’t measure up to what you are asking? Is that ok? Or can you find another situation that is a better fit? Taking the time to look deeply at things help them just be a big, heavy weight on your chest. Instead they are part of the puzzle that is you. Stop by Motivation to Stop Addiction for tools to stop the past patterns.